Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
