can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
