ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
