If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
3 2 1 whiskey
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
