who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
