She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
