Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
