What a fucking waste of an outfit
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
