when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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