My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
