Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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