i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
