It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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