we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
