Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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