They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
