I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
