I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You smell like stripper and shame
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
