i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
