I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
