$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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