I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
