no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
