Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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