I'm gonna have a badass scar
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
