***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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