i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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