I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
