Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
