I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
