try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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