You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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