You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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