yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
