She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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