She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
