walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
