why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
