hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
