careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
