I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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