I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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