The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
