Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You dont lie about slip and slides
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
