You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
