does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize