smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
please come you make the beer taste better
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
