woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
