please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
