Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
