I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
