Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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