Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We're using joints as your birthday candles
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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