After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
