Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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