I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
