Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
