Soap is not a condiment
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
