What a fucking waste of an outfit
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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