the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
