My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
