Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
