it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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