Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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