the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I stole a fireplace last night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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