You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it's like iHOP with fire
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
