when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
